J Ly Dublin Ditties Looking for Additions
Oh – and if I may: I’ve never had a poem dedicated to me. It’s kind of a nice feeling, thanks! ]
After the weekend blogging about the ill fated J Ly jaunt to the Emerald Isle, Blazing Cat Fur gathered many of the miscreant blog post links together along with his own brand of commentary here. Recently, not being all of deaf, dumb, blind, and stupid, hence not qualified to head an HRC or HRT, I noticed that Scaramouche often favoured his readers with humorous song lyrics on his own blog. So, I saw one of his comments on BCF’s blog post, and suggested that a song lyric was in order here. So, Scaramouche smouched one together, which I copied back here. And so it goes on.
Someone might recall; ok, I remember that a while back, during the t-shirt slogan contest I was a bit of a wet blanket, or a bunch of a wet blanket, thinking that demeaning J Ly was not appropriate. Well, I think I was just that, a wet blanket, in fact the t-shirt slogans were not demeaning as much as simple political statements. Besides, it is fun to make light of insanity that is going on around us. When you get lemons, make lemonade. And there ain’t no better lemons right now than the antics of our Censor in Chief parading around the world shouting that her sky is falling.
So, in the interest of not taking things too seriously, I have kept the Ditty and poetry going on my own mainly here with a little help. Enjoy and add if you will.
In Dublin’s fair city
There’s a junket so pretty
It attracted the likes of Ms. Jennifer Lynch.
As she flogged her dead pony
She spoke lots of baloney,
Crying, “Save me, ye lawyers, for I’ll never flinch.”…
That caused me to want to respond with one of my own, which I then put on BCF’s comments, and which I have reproduced here.
In Dublin’s fair town
Our J Ly sat down
With the lawyers who came from our fair land.
She raved about misinformation
from bloggers in our nation
Crying, “They’re mean to me. Give me a hand.”…
Well, Scary Fundamentalist’s witty writer had been away for the weekend, and missed all the kafuffle. However, as we all say, better late than never, and he offered up this tasty morsel.
There once was a woman named Lynch
who thought her job was a cinch
She censored the right
’till they started to fight
will lawyers get ‘er out of this pinch?
Well, it being my blog and all, I wanted to get the last word, not necessarily the best, but the last. Of course, I expect a comment from Scary Fundamentalist with another, and if so I will add it on the end, and then maybe add another of my own, so I can get the last last word, for I will have the last word . . . maybe.
There was a censor, J Ly
wanted miscreants like Ezra to fry
She cooked their goose
but alas some got loose
Now it could be her turn to cry.
Anyone else with a ditty or two, feel free to join in.
First up, me myself and I. 5:30 in the morning and these silly ditties are running in my head.
The Queen of Censors decided one night
To go to the Emerald Isle on an overnight flight.
She told lawyers tall tales
Over Irish stew and ales
In hopes that they’d join in her fight.
And then one for Walker at the Lynch Mob.
It’s hard for me to do my job
with them watching, bloggers like “The Lynch Mob”.
When e’er I shilly or shally,
Or dilly or dally.
Those pests are always on the job.
And here’s my final ditty, a poem really for Ezra.
The Queen of Censors Meets Her Match
I was showing the world what a tough broad I am,
Chasing down haters, give ’em a good body slam.
Bring them into my court and knock them around.
Show them who’s boss, till there’s nary a sound.
These scum of the earth saying words that are unkind.
When I catch up to ’em, they will be fined.
This human detritus much lower than me.
I’ll show ’em who’s boss. Just wait and see.
Then Ezra Levant came into my sights
Those ‘toons, oh those ‘toons still give me frights.
We dug way down deep to get lots of dirt
We squeezed and we squeezed till it really hurt.
We flogged him, and beat him for 900 days.
We nipped at his heals in so many ways.
But, he kept coming back, and he’s coming back still.
That Ezra Levant is one heck of a pill.
He made so much noise, that we finally said:
“We’re dropping all charges.” He said: “Drop dead.
I’ve had enough of your lousy Shakedown“.
He’s so hot on my case I feel a breakdown.
I’m not really a meany. I have friends you know,
Or I used to, I think. Where did they all go?
They liked me in Montreal at CASHRA I think.
They smiled and listened. A few gave me a wink.
In Dublin, they liked me. They smiled and they chattered.
I picked up the tab. They listened as I nattered.
I hope it’s not true what more and more say,
That J Ly, Queen of Censors has had her day.
[ UPDATE: Mbrandon writes:
Lest Barb Hall feel left out
Barb Hall Ontario’s Queen of Censors
Barb Hall’s annual report came down from on high
Full of promise of peace, love and pie in the sky.
It sounded so good, that Premier McGuinty did say
“She walks on water each and every day.”
You remember Fr. Cachia once said: “Let’s ordain us some gals”.
Bishop De Angelis said: “Recant, you devil, or go hang with your pals.”
Leave he did, and with Jim Corcoran he’s in touch.
Speak to the Bishop, well maybe not so much.
But Corcoran connected with the Bishop one day,
When the Bishop asked him to leave the altar and pray.
Jim didn’t like it and swore he’d been had,
So he went to Pope Barb, who could feel for the lad.
He asked for some cash, a lot if you could,
then for De Angelis to change church teaching if he would.
It ain’t gonna happen, a fight’s on the rise,
And Jimmy and Barb don’t have God on their sides.
This is only one dustup, but Barb doesn’t care,
She’ll pick fights with anyone, any time anywhere.
Her record has been solid, but the reason is clear,
Her opponents are usually quaking with fear.
So, we’ll see how she does when the party is over,
Who’s standing, who’s sitting and who just fell over.
If she wins this one, I quit. I am leaving.
I’ll be heading to somewhere warm to do my grieving. ]