Over the past couple of years, I’ve been just a tad critical of your way of operating. However, with recent developments, I believe that I would actually be a model CHRC employee. Here is why:
1) I absolutely love dabbling around with online accounts, making me an ideal specimen for the dissemination of entrapping comments on various white supremacist websites. But that’s just an incidental benefit of having me in your employ. The main reason why you should hire me is,
2) I also know the value of a dollar. For instance, Jennifer Lynch blew over ten grand on her trip to Geneva. I promise you, I could easily up that to at least twenty. And that’s just for the hookers and cocaine that I would be more than willing to supply for any fellow members of the Commonwealth Forum of National Human Rights Organizations – also helping international co-operation with your human rights brethren.
Obviously, Jennifer Lynch does not understand the meaning of the word budget – after all, the more you spend, the more you get to spend. In these crazy economic times, you can’t afford not to hire me.